Pub 104, Day 39 – The Ball

By Andy

We left The Punch Bowl and crossed Crookes towards The Ball, a fellow Greene King establishment. Quite why Greene King felt they needed two pubs virtually across the road from each other was anyone’s guess, but I suppose there must be a sizeable local market for microwaved pub meals.

The pub was much busier than its neighbour, with a lively buzz that can only be caused by mixing alcohol with politics. It was the night of the EU Referendum, although I’m not sure why everyone was getting so animated – it’s not like we were actually going to leave the EU.

We selected two pints of Rooney Juice – Euro 2016 was ongoing, and there seemed no better pint to drink while looking forward to England’s inevitable win over Iceland in a few days’ time.

However, after paying with a £10 note, the barmaid promptly disappeared, never returning with my change. After standing around like a lemon for a while, I decided to enquire.

“Erm excuse me, I’m still waiting for my change,” I timidly told a member of staff.

“Oh, we’ll have to check the till to make sure,” came the curt response. “Find a table and we’ll bring it over.”

I have to say this was a new one on me – although receiving the wrong change was a fairly common occurence, receiving no change at all seemed a novel way of increasing profit margins. Perhaps they were stockpiling cash in case of Brexit, but they needn’t have worried: Remain was clearly going to win.

Little did they know they had upset the wrong person. I vowed there and then to include this turn of events in my Pubquest blog, thereby exposing their shoddy customer service to our legions of fans. Give it a month, two months tops, and The Ball would be out of business, its reputation in tatters.

Locating a table as instructed, I took in my surroundings. The pub was a chain pub, but a good one: tables of regulars were dotted all around, and the central bar and numerous corners created an illusion of seclusion in what was clearly a large venue.

Rooney Juice was a pleasant pint which managed to disguise its 5.8% by being extremely drinkable – or, as ‘Chris’ from beer-review site Untappd puts it: “surprisingly good given the man’s a bellend.”

We finished our pints, and the manager eventually brought my change over, just as Rob’s girlfriend Hannah arrived to pick us up.

“The first referendum results have just come in,” she exclaimed, “and it was a massive vote for Remain.” 

Just as we expected.

“Where was it?” we asked, intrigued.

“Gibraltar.”

Postscript: I’m sure this part doesn’t need saying, but Leave won the referendum, Iceland knocked England out of Euro 2016, and several months later The Ball is still a thriving and profitable venue whose reputation took no damage from Pubquest’s exposé.

Pub: The Ball (171-173 Crookes, S10 1UD)
Rating: 6.5/10
Pint: Rooney Juice
Brewery: Naylor’s Brewery (Cross Hills, North Yorkshire)

NEXT UP: Minor celebrities, at The Head of Steam... 

Pub 103, Day 39 – The Punch Bowl

By Rob

What normal person understands, really, how the European Union works? It's made up of seven institutions, twenty-eight member states (for now), and operates largely out of immediate view. Our relationship with this organisation has never been straightforward: we're in the Customs Union, but not the Eurozone; we're in the Single Market, but not the Schengen Area.

The pros and cons of our membership are so numerous and complex that you cannot reasonably expect, say, Jeff the window cleaner to be au fait with the regular minutes of the European Parliament. Instead, we expect our politicians – whom we elect – to understand this detail, and to act on it accordingly in our best interests.

It made perfect sense, therefore, that in 2016 the Prime Minister – David Cameron – decided to hand this intensely complicated, multi-faceted question over to the people, and to reduce it to a binary choice: in or out? An attempt to resolve a many-layered question with a yes/no answer – a bit like asking someone to capture the Mona Lisa on an Etch-a-Sketch. It was always going to end well...

***

A referendum?! As we set out elsewhere in this blog, Andy and I always made sure to meet up, and drink, during the big votes. General elections were normally spent with a Chinese (a takeaway, not an individual) and some beers. Now it was time for another enormous democratic exercise, and this one would be no exception.

As with any major UK vote, the results weren't expected until late, giving us the necessary time to fit a couple of pubs in. We were planning to watch the results at mine, in Broomhill, and so headed to nearby Crookes in search of some pre-referendum tipple.

Our first stop was The Punch Bowl – a Greene King pub, more catered to selling food than pouring pints. It looked every inch the standard chain pub: clean wood benches, bright lights, spacious rooms, and an obvious focus on serving grub.

But let's not hold that against them! The beer choice was not so dismal, and we each ordered a pint of Born in the USA – a "mosaic citra equinox IPA" (no? me neither) coming in at 6%. It was, basically, a strong IPA with a lemon aftertaste – perfectly nice.

However sweet the pint might have been, it paled in comparison to Andy's glass-full of actual sweets, which he wolfed down like a crazed, juvenile diabetic.

Sitting there, sipping our drinks, with Andy bouncing off the walls in a sugar high, we started to discuss the upcoming vote. In some ways, we figured, it was more exciting than a general election – after all, this was a vote to decide on Britain's place in the world, with results that would last for a generation.

On the other hand, we thought, it was less exciting. General elections could be unpredictable, whereas the referendum was a sure thing. Nobody expected Remain to lose. Preparing ourselves for an uneventful evening of predictable politics, we drank up and headed to the next pub.

Pub: The Punch Bowl (236 Crookes, S10 1TH)

Rating: 6.5/10

Pint: Born in the USA

Brewery: Blue Bee Brewery (Sheffield)

NEXT UP: Shoddy customer service, at The Ball...