By Andy
The
key part about visiting every pub in Sheffield, is that you have to
visit every pub in Sheffield.
However,
like a toddler refusing to eat his greens, we had so far shoved all
the scary pubs to the side of our plate.
Tonight
though, we had made a pact: no more dessert until we'd finished our
broccoli.
“Where
do you wanna go then?” asked Rob. “Manor? Parson Cross? What's
that terrifying pub in town with a permanent drug dealer outside?”
I
gulped. He was referring to the Hen & Chickens. He was right
though: we couldn't keep putting it off.
“I
guess I'll book us a taxi then,” I muttered, a sense of trepidation
settling in my stomach.
“City
Taxis, Gavin speaking.”
“H-Hello,
I'd like to book a taxi from Gleadless please.”
“As
soon as possible?” he enquired, his cheery tone contrasting with
the dread in my voice.
I
paused. I looked at Rob. He nodded, grimly.
“Yes.”
“And
where is it you're going?”
“The
H-... The He-...” The words wouldn't come out.
Just
then Rob's girlfriend Hannah entered the room. “I'm going to my
yoga class in a minute if you want a lift to Crosspool?”
A
wave of relief cascaded over me. My fear was suddenly replaced with
the zest for life which typically consumes those who have survived
plane crashes or beaten a particularly deadly disease.
I
apologised to Gavin and hung up. Why would we waste money on a taxi
when we could get to Crosspool for free?
***
The
Sportsman is somewhat imposing from the outside, but oozes warmth
from within. We chose two pints of Summer Lightning, and even though
the summer evenings were starting to recede, our beer still hit the
spot with its golden flavour.
We
had planned to eat somewhere along the way, and The Sportsman seemed
a good bet. Being part of the Ember Inns chain, the pub provides
superior food to Wetherspoons (although not quite as homely as those
pubs which break free from the chain concept altogether). Ignoring
the fancier sections of the menu, we both selected steak & ale
pie with chips.
However,
when the food arrived, the chips were nowhere to be seen: we both
received steak & ale pie with mashed potato. Now, I like to think
of myself as a reasonably level-headed person, but replacing the best
form of potato (chips) with one of the worst (mash) should be a
hanging offence. In true British fashion I said nothing, but deep
down I was wishing irreversible harm upon the waiter and all of his
family.
However,
there is no doubt that Pubquest will have the last laugh: the
negative publicity The Sportsman will receive after we name and shame
them to an audience of millions will almost certainly put them out of
business.
Pub:
The Sportsman (57 Benty Lane, S10 5NF)
Rating:
6.5/10
Beer:
Summer Lightning
Brewery:
Hop Back Brewery (Downton, Wiltshire)
NEXT UP: A photo opportunity, at the Crosspool Tavern...
NEXT UP: A photo opportunity, at the Crosspool Tavern...
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