Pub 43, Day 16 – The Abbey

By Rob

For generations the brutal territorial war between Derbyshire and Yorkshire has raged in the cold north of England. Lives have been shattered, bloodlines erased, and countless persons have been lost to this perennial geo-political conflict.

The village of Woodseats has spent much of its life situated right in the centre of this devastating struggle. From the Old English Wodesettes, this ‘fold in a wood’ has sat on the fault line between the two regional superpowers for eons.

In 1934, Woodseats was seized from Derbyshire and formally became part of the City of Sheffield, thus marking what would surely be the darkest and most significant event to take place in Europe in the 1930s. Of course, the consequences of this were more far-reaching than anyone could have then anticipated, as it meant that over eighty years later the district of Woodseats would be on the list of places to visit during Pubquest.

Our decision to drink in this particular area had stemmed from the fact that we had visited a disproportionate number of city-centre, or near-city-centre establishments. As such, it seemed like a good idea to journey somewhere further out. What's more, we knew that Woodseats played host to a number of nice pubs. In particular, there were four public houses along Chesterfield Road: The Abbey, the Big Tree, The Chantrey Arms, and Woodseats Palace – and we were aiming to visit them all.

We thus found ourselves stepping off the bus just outside of Graves Park, from where we could spy our first target: The Abbey.

From without, we were presented with a large stone building on the corner of Chesterfield Road that was hard to miss. 

Inside, the pub appeared to function in the opposite manner to the Tardis, seeming somewhat smaller than we had expected. The decor was all up to scratch, presenting the entrants with the standardised semi-traditional style. However, the management could have elected to smear the wallpaper with charcoal and write obscenities on the ceiling and it wouldn't have mattered – the place was so dimly lit that a quiet murder could have taken place in the corner and we would have been oblivious.

Now, I have no problem with mood lighting, and I readily acknowledge that the glaring intensity of fluorescent overhead bulbs would ruin the atmosphere in almost any taproom. However, only certain places are suited to having such very low-wattage lamps (wood-panelled smoking rooms, drug dens, very posh restaurants, the Batcave) and sadly pubs are not amongst them. In fact, it was probably because of its unnecessarily shaded interior that the pub's innards seemed disproportionately petite.

Squinting at the pumps on the bar, we each chose a pint of Harvest Pale. The flagship beer of its brewery, and the SIBA National Champion Bitter 2004, Champion Bitter of Britain 2007 and Champion Beer of Britain 2010 – how could we not choose it? Additionally, we felt that a light coloured beer would be easier to locate in the darkness.

We took our seats and sipped at our drinks. The Harvest Pale was nice, although I'm not sure I would echo the words of its makers, who describe it as having "exceptional poise". This is not because I doubt the accuracy of the statement or the integrity of the hard working folk at Castle Rock Brewery, but simply because my ale-tasting expertise is so poor that I must confess to being unsure about what it actually means when a beer is poised.

Sitting there, talking to Andy (using the sound of his voice as confirmation that he was still seated across from me) I rather enjoyed myself. Yes, the pub was much too dark. However, the selection of ales on offer was reasonable and – although we didn't eat there – the food menu also provided a good range of options.

All in all, a perfectly decent pub that's worth a visit if, like us, you're sampling the delights of Woodseats. 

We finished our ales and, poised for our next visit, stepped through the door and into the shining brilliance of the outside world.

Pub: The Abbey (944 Chesterfield Road, S8 0SH)

Rating: 6/10

Pint: Harvest Pale

Brewery: Castle Rock Brewery (Nottingham)

NEXT UP: Making friends in the toilets, at the Big Tree...