Thursday 14 January 2016

Pub 91, Day 35 – Rutland Arms

By Andy

The Rutland Arms has always held a special place in my heart, on account of it being a perfectly placed pit-stop on the walk between Sheffield station and Bramall Lane. With the opening of the Sheffield Tap in 2010, I subsequently developed a two-stop strategy, benefiting from the additional opportunity to refuel.

Attending the Rutland on a non-matchday was a new experience for me, but then perhaps the pub would be improved by the absence of overweight men in tight red-and-white shirts.

Just enough off the beaten track to be classed as a secret, yet still in a great city centre location, the Rutland Arms has recently been building an excellent reputation for its food, where it strives to achieve “good value restaurant-standard cooking in an unfussy atmosphere”.

Here at Pubquest, we have already accepted the destruction of our livers, but are yet to consent to the morbid obesity that would derive from eating a meal at every pub, so we reluctantly stuck to the beers.

I know what you're thinking: how can a review of a football-pub renowned for its food be complete if you go on a non-matchday and don't eat?

Panic not – this wasn't our first time at the rodeo.

***

A few months prior, Rob had received free Sheffield United tickets from university (yes, he is STILL a student). Seeing as I already had a ticket, he rounded up his usual assortment of post-grad friends (some American, some Chinese, some southern) and took them to Sheffield United vs Barnsley.

Hilariously, during pre-match drinks at the Rutland, the Americans amongst the group started asking Rob questions about football – an exercise about as useful as asking the Queen for tips on living below the poverty line.

How do you get a penalty?”
What's the offside rule?”
Who are 'Leeds scum' and why does everybody hate them?”

Panicked, Rob gave me a call, and I popped over to explain.

After guiding them through the aforementioned basics, I advised the guests that it could be somewhat of a needle match, and it might be best to try and blend in to avoid trouble. Everyone nodded, before heading to the bar.

However, either the entire group had completely ignored me, or they truly had no idea how to 'blend in' in a city-centre Sheffield pub shortly before a South Yorkshire derby.

Forgoing the matchday classic Slutty Rutty Butty (a chip butty with cheese and bacon), they ordered an eclectic mix of terrines, roulades and risottos. All looked fantastic. All tasted fantastic. And all attracted quizzical looks from the hordes waiting patiently for their butties while we completely hijacked the kitchen.

Perhaps I'm being harsh. For it turns out Americans know neither the word 'chip' or 'butty'. Nor breadcake. In fact, it took a good ten minutes of explaining the concept before we settled on 'french fries sandwich'. But when in Rome, eat pizza; and when about to watch Sheffield United, eat a chip butty (making sure to leave enough room for your chicken balti pie at half-time).

***

Anyway, back to the Official Pubquest Visit.

Having already established that the food was both delicious and versatile, it was time to put the beers through the same scrutiny.

The selection was glorious, ranging from wheat beers to stouts. We went for Attack on Blue Falcon by Northern Monk, a brewery which was on its very last chance with me after a few terrible pints.

The beer was a 7% 'blueberry and mosaic black IPA', and it soon became apparent that it fell into the same category as every other Northern Monk beer I had ever tried – a vile concoction designed for shock rather than taste.

In fact I once called in at the brewery while passing, and headed to their on-site bar. There were over a dozen beers on offer, only two of which were under 7%. Every single one had clearly been created in reverse – which weird flavours can we put together, rather than which flavours work well. The complete opposite of classier breweries such as Saltaire and Thornbridge, where no matter how strange a beer's premise, the end product always takes priority.

The pub was small and busy, and it can constantly be a battle to find a table upon arrival. But there is also a pleasant beer garden out back, perfect for warmer days. In addition, the pub possesses a brilliant old-school jukebox, which is so popular that any song you select doesn't come on until several hours after you've left.
A friendly pub... unless you fancy a WKD

Ignoring our poor choice of pint, for us this has always been a pub that ticks all the boxes.

Food: √
Beer: √
Friendly: √

The latest addition to the coveted 10/10 club.

Pub: Rutland Arms (86 Brown Street, S1 2BS)
Rating: 10/10

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