By
Andy
For
me this sums up what Pubquest is all about. You know how sometimes
you pop out for a quiet pint and before you know it you're playing a
professional snooker player? Well read on...
***
Avid
readers will no doubt remember that my uni friends were in town for
the week. After
an unforgettable night the
previous evening at The Fat Cat/Players, we decided to stick with the tried and tested
formula and begin in Kelham Island, before heading to town. With The
Fat Cat
already ticked off, it was over to its long-time competitor, The
Kelham Island Tavern.
A
duopoly to rival Celtic and Rangers, these two clean up at the CAMRA
Sheffield Pub of The Year Awards each year, with the Kelham Island
Tavern currently establishing somewhat of a dynasty, winning
back-to-back titles in 2014 and 2015. It has also earned national
recognition, being crowned CAMRA National Pub of the
Year in 2008 and 2009.
A
bit roomier than The Fat Cat, the Kelham Island Tavern has the same
commendable commitment to great ales and pork pies. Although the
decor would give the Changing Rooms
team nightmares (its yellow and red interior fails to
match its homely feel), the beer garden is the stuff of Ground
Force's dreams – a rainforest of plants
compete for your senses, making even the darkest of beers dance with
a floral flavour.
Being
easily convinced folk, we all opted for a pint of Magic Sponge – an
eye-catching pint which chose to forego the typical cardboard logo in
favour of sticking a sponge on the pump.
A wise man once suggested to not judge a book by its cover. Presumably, if you bumped into this fella down your local, he would also extol the virtues of not picking a beer by its logo. Happily, on this occasion he would have been wrong – Magic Sponge was a light, golden pint with a subtle toffee taste.
It
was at this point that Conor – an aforementioned uni friend – got
a phone call: did he want to come to The Common Room for a few frames
of pool? With our Magic Sponges absorbed, and with town on the
night's agenda, we jumped at the chance.
I should probably give you a bit of background information about Conor: he's a semi-professional snooker player. While the rest of my friends were spending the week on my floor, he was crashing at the Star Snooker Academy, whiling away his days on the baize.
A
few months after our fake trip to Bulgaria, Conor made the journey for real to play in
the 2014 European Tour in Sofia, triumphing 4-3 in the second round
before bowing out in round three (in a tournament eventually won by
Shaun Murphy). So when Conor gets a phone call inviting him for a few
frames of pool, you go. You never know who's gonna be there.
We
were met at The Common Room by three of India's finest snooker
players: Rahul Sachdev (ranked 20th
in India), Himanshu Jain (ranked 17th
in India), and Aditya Mehta (ranked number 1 in India
and 49th in
the world). Now I wasn't too bad at snooker either (ranked 59th
in Howden & District Division Two), and as such,
I deemed myself ready to compete against the world's best.
Unfortunately,
any dreams I had of taking on Aditya Mehta were foiled by the
Argentina vs Netherlands World Cup semi-final on the big screen,
which he was immersed in.
Luckily, Himanshu Jain was less of a football fan, and agreed to a frame of pool. Unbeknown to him, after our visit to the Kelham Island Tavern, I was ideally intoxicated – drunk enough to believe I could win, yet sober enough to still see straight.
Despite trailing initially, I sank the last six balls in one break, rolling in the black to receive a pat on the back from a disbelieving Rob. The man whose recognition I truly craved though was still facing the other way, his eyes locked on Lionel Messi. With no desire to waste his time pummelling no-hopers, he again declined my challenge.
Next
up I played Rahul Sachdev – a player with his own page on the World Snooker website. Once again I fell behind,
only to emerge victorious. This time though, my own ability had
nothing to do with it – it all came down to luck. While Rahul was
in the middle of a break, he accidentally cannoned into the black,
potting it ahead of schedule.
Etiquette
dictated that my celebrations remained muted. Rob, apparently unaware
of such procedure, sprinted over and hugged me. A win by default is a
win nonetheless.
This time, Mr Mehta couldn't ignore my challenge. Having beaten both of his practice partners, I had earned the right to take on the 49th best snooker player in the world.
The
parameters were too close to call: he has his own Wikipedia page, I have a profile on the Howden & District League website. His career
winnings total £106,233, I once won £8 in a tournament at college.
After
a cagey opening, Aditya left me a half-chance. My common sense urged
me to play safe; unfortunately, my imagination was in overdrive. If I
potted this, I would be in a commanding position. Would beating
Aditya Mehta make me Champion of India?
 |
Me
vs Mehta
|
Predictably,
I missed. Even more predictably, Aditya Mehta won. However, he only
beat me by two balls, which I was secretly quite proud of.
And
just in case anyone's keeping count, after my exploits against
India's finest, and Rob's impressive victory over our Chinese friend Cowboy Keith at Barry's,
the Pubquest pool score stands at:
Andy
and Rob 3-1
Asia
[Population:
2]
[Population: ~4,164,252,000]
Brewery: Thwaites Brewery (Blackburn)
NEXT UP: Knocking back drinks two-by-two, at the Noah's Ark...
NEXT UP: Knocking back drinks two-by-two, at the Noah's Ark...
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