By
Andy
bottle
/ˈbɒt(ə)l/
noun
1.
a glass or plastic container with a narrow neck, used for storing
drinks or other liquids.
2.
[informal•British]
the
courage or confidence needed to do something difficult or dangerous.
You
may already know that winning a pub quiz has been a lifetime ambition for Pubquest. The Brothers Arms is the tale of how we
came oh so close... but threw it all away.
***
The
Brothers Arms was our next stop, the perfect halfway point between
the Heeley pubs we were leaving behind and the Nether Edge
pubs we were heading towards – in more ways than one.
Having
somehow got lost on what was essentially a three-minute walk in a
straight line, we suddenly emerged from the tight streets of Heeley
at an open-plan junction, where the pub stood tall above a
playground, a church, and indeed the entire city centre beneath it.
Whereas some pubs may feel imposing sat atop a high hill, The Brothers
Arms looked nothing but welcoming, with its modern colour scheme and
cartoon signs.
Of
all the pubs in Sheffield, this was potentially the one I was most
excited to visit – I had heard big things. Previously a traditional
pub known as The Shakespeare, the venue was given a modern twist when
it was taken over by the Everly Pregnant Brothers – a
Sheffield parody ukulele band whose hits include No Oven No Pie
and Stuck in the Lidl with You.
Nowadays,
The Brothers Arms prides itself on a fantastic selection of beers –
and of course its live music every Thursday, which attracts genuinely
reputable bands from a variety of genres.
Not
wanting a repeat of the gig we witnessed at The Lescar, we had
deliberately avoided arriving on music night. However in doing so, we
had unwittingly turned up on pub quiz night.
We
had originally intended to have one quick pint before heading to
Nether Edge and Woodseats, but our plan brought us into conflict with
the first commandment of Pubquest, originally scribed at The Shakey and subsequently reinforced at the Three Tuns:
- If thou is present at a pub when the quiz is on; thou shalt participate.
Here
at Pubquest, we're not the most flexible of fellas: precedents are
there to be observed. If a pub brews their own beer, we will drink it. If a pub has a pool table, we will play on it. And if
a pub has a quiz on, then by god we will win it
participate in it.
Alas,
a familiar feeling soon took hold: the questions completely passed us
by. My specialist subject was League One football 2011-2017, while
Rob was studying a PhD in Late Ancient History. Inexplicably, neither
topic arose.
Thankfully,
a couple at a nearby table who weren't participating took pity on us.
Presumably drawn in by our perplexed faces, they began providing us
with the odd answer. Realising their value to the team, we invited
them to sit with us, and watched with glee as they persistently
picked up the pen.
They
were called Ken & Kitty, and they were geniuses. On the rare
occasions when one of them didn't know the answer, the other would
quickly provide it. On the extremely rare occasions where neither of
them knew the answer, they looked to us – hopefully, naively,
forlornly – then had a guess themselves.
After we challenged the integrity of a fellow quiz team at the Malin Bridge Inn, you may question the morals of recruiting two randomers to
bolster our chances of victory – however, I couldn't care less what
you think. Anything to achieve our first Pubquest pub quiz prize.
We
told Ken & Kitty all about Pubquest (unbelievably, they hadn't
heard of it already), and guaranteed them a shout-out in our blog.
What we neglected to mention is that the blog is so far behind
schedule that it would be months before we got round to writing it,
so I hope they didn't spend the next week eagerly refreshing the
page.
“And
in joint first place...”
Joint
winners! But wait, what happens now...
“Looks
like we're going to a tiebreaker!”
The
nerves kicked in. I hadn't been involved in an event with such a
thrilling climax since our football match in the South Yorkshire
Primary School Cup (second round) went to a penalty shoot-out.
Breathe
slowly. Don't let the nerves affect you. Just play your normal game.
By
this point, the pub had separated into two tribes – all those sat
closest to us were helping our team, and all those sat nearest our
rivals were assisting them.
The
quizmaster revealed the all-important question: “In which year did
The Shakespeare pub become The Brothers Arms?”
Great. A tiebreaker about a pub we had never been to before that night. Even Ken & Kitty were stumped.
Great. A tiebreaker about a pub we had never been to before that night. Even Ken & Kitty were stumped.
Luckily,
a wise old man leant over:
“I've
been coming here every week since it opened. It's definitely 2014”.
Really?
It felt like I had been wanting to visit for longer than that.
Working on the basis that these things are always longer ago than you
think, I made an executive decision and took a couple of years off
his suggestion.
“2012,”
I whispered to the quizmaster.
Our
opponents went with 2013. The answer was 2014.
And
so Pubquest's wait for our maiden quiz title goes on. Certainly,
we will never have a better opportunity. Having listened to Ken &
Kitty all night long, what made me think I suddenly knew best?
Just
like the penalty I missed in round two of the South Yorkshire Primary
School Cup – my nerves had got the better of me.
Pub:
The Brothers Arms (106 Well Road, S8 9TZ)
Rating:
7.5/10
Pint:
Brothers Best
Brewery: The Brothers Arms (Homebrew)
Brewery: The Brothers Arms (Homebrew)
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