It's
time to rejoice, as once again we are treating you – our loyal
readers – to another guest blog. This time, following in the footsteps of Rob's youngest sister Reanna,
his other sister Rebecca (fashionably rebranded as Beki) masterfully
takes over the reins.
***
By
Beki
It’s said there are only two things you can be certain of in life: death and taxes. However, if you are a friend or family member of Rob and Andy, then you can add a third: that one day you will be roped into writing a Pubquest blog. It was, of course, a momentous occasion to finally be asked along and, with the knowledge that my post might be seen by literally TENS of people, I set off on my first 'quest'.
Knowing
that this was Sheffield Pubquest, I assumed we might be
hopping on a tram to a trendy pub in the city centre that I’d never
heard of, or discovering a diamond in the rough, perhaps in a dicier
area like Firth Park or Lowedges. Instead, we
travelled for at least half an hour into the middle of nowhere. We
eventually reached Loxley, a village that only actually became part
of Sheffield in 1974. Perhaps I’m being a little cynical
readers, but it felt rather like we were scraping the barrel.
Although we did visit a couple of really quite nice establishments on this trip, I will today be reviewing the Admiral Rodney. However,
before we get into my review I’d like to explain a little of my
background to you all. For the past two years I've worked in a very,
very well known chain pub and I believe wholeheartedly that most
(if not all) chain pubs are shit. Some chain pubs are like those
owned by my old employer and have garish, lager-stained carpets and
men in high-visibility jackets called Dave who drink too much John
Smith's. Other chains, meanwhile, have very nice carpets and potpourri
on the tables, and are frequented by middle-class families who
delight in shouting at people on minimum wage. Inevitably though,
they are all varying incarnations of the same lifeless, soulless
entity.
 |
| The view from the pub (photo from Google Maps, contributor Nigel Raynor) |
The
inside is another matter: the entire place is covered in wooden
beams, old fireplaces and other knick-knacks in a desperate attempt to
give it a cosy country pub vibe, although it mostly comes across as
very calculated and fake. The best country pubs just throw bits of
tat everywhere, such as random horseshoes on the ceiling and old pump
clips stuck above the bar; there’s no rhyme or reason to anything,
but it's cosy. The Admiral Rodney was too clean, the lager was poured
from shiny chrome taps, the bar was arranged neatly with rows of
wines and spirits on glass shelves and the toilets smelled lovely:
the soul and character had essentially been scrubbed away with
furniture polish and disinfectant.
The
thing that really, really struck me when I walked inside, was that
this was not a pub. Not really. I think if the Admiral Rodney could
stick up big signs everywhere that said “BUY FOOD OR PISS OFF”
they absolutely would have. Unfortunately for them this is generally
frowned upon and so they had to make do with filling the entire pub
with nothing but dining tables, each adorned with cutlery and menus.
The purpose of Pubquest, of course, is not to review the food and so we
chose to forgo the culinary delights and turned our attention to
their drinks.
For
a pub that is literally a five minute drive away from Bradfield, home
to one of the best brewers in Sheffield, they had a pretty crap
selection, consisting of about three ales, one of which would always
be Doom Bar, as Vintage Inns (apparently like many other chain pubs)
have some kind of agreement with the brewer. The lagers were nothing
exciting either, so I ended up settling for a strawberry and lime
Kopparberg. I’m not going to bother reviewing that because, well,
its Kopparberg. Rob and Andy had a pint of Black Sheep, which I'm not
going to review either.
The
staff were pleasant and the couple of cigarettes I enjoyed on the
terrace made it clear to me that this was absolutely the best part of
the pub, especially in the dusk with the sounds of the countryside
floating around you.
Now,
at this point you are probably expecting a rating. However, Rob and
Andy are tyrants and so, even if I did give you one, they would
rescind it, as they jealously guard their monopoly of the rating
system and would decry my attempt as "not official". So, what I
will say is that I’m sure this pub is bloody lovely for those
looking for a Sunday roast or a nice lunch, but as an actual pub?
It’s shit.
***
Yes,
I think we broadly agree....
Pub:
Admiral Rodney (592 Loxley Rd, S6 6RU)
Rating:
6/10
Pint:
Black Sheep Best Bitter
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