By Andy
Sweeping up the pubs we missed on our previous trip to Sharrow, we were hoping for a less salacious occasion than the last time we visited the area. We had wisely left it three years since, lest any police still be on the lookout for a drink driver dressed as a cowboy.
Sweeping up the pubs we missed on our previous trip to Sharrow, we were hoping for a less salacious occasion than the last time we visited the area. We had wisely left it three years since, lest any police still be on the lookout for a drink driver dressed as a cowboy.
The
first pub we came across was The Hermitage, a giant boozer at the
bottom of London Road. Upon entering, we were struck by how busy it
was – in an era when most pubs have a handful of patrons huddled in
a corner, The Hermitage had hardly a spare seat in the house.
Fighting our way through the masses, we requested two pints of
Cascade Pale Ale.
The
barmaid took great care pouring the perfect pint, but just as I was
extracting the money from my wallet, she inexplicably turned to serve
someone else.
Now
I had worked in retail myself, so I had done it all before: given
someone too much change, given someone too little change,
accidentally accepted Euros instead of pounds because I was in a
hangover-induced daze. But forgoing the exchange of cash for goods
altogether was a new one on me. Confused, I leant across and gently
pointed out her error.
“erm...
I haven't paid for these yet...”
“Don't
you know? Today's our grand reopening! All drinks are free until 6!”
“Oh,”
I stuttered. “Have you been closed?”
“Yeah
since July, the whole place has been refurbished. Haven't you
noticed?”
Never
having set foot in the pub before, I can't say I had. “Well, now
you mention it...” I lied.
“We've
got a new name,” she declared, abruptly. “We're called The
Hermitage now.”
“Oh
yeah I saw that,” I replied, glad to find my footing in the
conversation.
“Do
you prefer it to the old name?” she enquired.
Now
I really was stumped. “Errrm it's tough to say,” I mumbled. “I
was so used to the old name...”
“Yeah,
we thought it sounded a bit elitist though.”
“I
know what you mean,” I replied, not having the faintest clue what
she meant. My mind boggled as to what the pub was previously called.
Einstein's Arms? The Surgeon's Scalpel? The Sharrow Working Mensa
Club? Confident that the real answer was bound to be a
disappointment[1], I scurried into the crowd before she could ask me
anything else.
It
seems The Hermitage had discovered the secret to a busy pub: free
alcohol. For a while, we found ourselves perched by the quiz machine,
unable to locate a seat at all. However, the free drinks meant
regular trips to the bar (and toilet) for all concerned, so in true
primary school fashion, we enforced an 'on your feet, lose your seat'
policy.
The
pub was open-plan with a high ceiling, meaning although it was busy,
it never felt crowded. Perhaps it was merely a ploy to impress on
opening night, but the selection of drinks was terrific, with beer
enthusiasts and gin aficionados particularly well-catered for.
Our
Cascade Pale Ale was crisp and golden, further enhancing the
reputation of the ever-impressive Saltaire Brewery. Always keen to
take advantage of an open bar, we soon progressed to double
vodka-Red Bulls. Although we felt a slight pang of guilt helping
ourselves to free drinks at a pub we had never been to before and
would probably never go to again, this was quickly offset by a
drunken agreement to award The Hermitage an extra point when deciding
their Pubquest Rating – an honour worth far more financially than a
few measly drinks.
We
finally made a financial contribution to The Hermitage's upkeep when
we spotted a table-football table – a common feature in the bars of
coastal Spain but a rarity in British pubs. Always grateful for a new game to
beat Rob at, I placed a pound coin in the slot.
Just
before we kicked off, Rob did warn me that he was abysmal; however I
failed to fully comprehend just how bad a human being with two arms
could possibly be. I ended up triumphing 12-2 (working out at an
economical 7.14 pence per ball), and can now include table football
along with snooker and Connect Four as Pubquest games
in which I emerged victorious. Just don't mention the darts.
After
several double vodka-Red Bulls, it was decided that we should move on
to our next destination. Coincidentally, this decision was taken at 18:01, just as the free bar had come to an end. The mass exodus which
followed was akin to a fire drill, leaving behind a sea of empty
glasses for some poor soul to clear up. Alas, The Hermitage may have
discovered the secret to a busy pub, but it had failed to find the
formula of a profitable one.
Hermitage table football score: Andy 1-0 Rob
Pubquest table football score: Andy 1-0 Rob
Pub: The Hermitage (13 London Road, S2 4LA)
Rating: 8.5/10
Pint: Cascade Pale Ale
References:
[1] According to Google, the pub was previously called The Scholar
[1] According to Google, the pub was previously called The Scholar
No comments:
Post a Comment