Pub 33, Day 11 – Star & Garter

The Quest for the 50p Pool Table

Volume Three: The Return of the Bloggers

By Rob

This blog is the third in a trilogy of posts. Together, they detail our epic search for a 50p pool table and all the adventures along the way. 

***

Standing on Winter Street, Crookesmoor, it is instantly apparent that you're in a student area. The immediate landscape is dominated by university architecture, ranging from the one-time tallest building in the city, the Arts Tower, to the redbrick sprawl of Bartolome House.

Visit during term time and the street is teeming with students moving from lecture to seminar, from Western Bank Library to the green pleasantry of Crookes Valley Park. The pedestrian traffic has an average age of nineteen and the whole place reeks of youthful optimism, aspiration, and emptied overdrafts.

Yet there is something strangely out of place within this picture.

Its name?

The Star & Garter.

One remarkable thing about this small pub is that, despite being situated on a prime student thoroughfare and thus in an excellent position to cash in, it's a notably non-student establishment.

Like me, you may be tempted to offer congratulations to the landlord on this point. There's something dignified about a local pub, for local residents, resisting the temptation to change course and transmogrify itself into a student pub. Native Sheffielders need a watering hole too, and it stands to reason that they might prefer their pint without an accompanying horde of rowdy punters at least half their age.

Unfortunately, congratulations are not a recognised form of legal tender and the local residents who do partake of the S&G's services are strikingly few in number. As such, the pub has been teetering on a knife-edge for some time - a "To Let" sign outside has been there for so long that it's practically a structural fixture.

It would appear that the management isn't unaware of this. A small sign by the door now weakly and unconvincingly proclaims "Students Welcome". Sadly, it will take much greater efforts to reverse the pub's declining fortunes and convince the student population, who are all too willing to part with their money in exchange for alcohol, to venture inside.

Like many of my fellow university attendees, I'd walked past the pub a thousand times without ever thinking about popping in. After all, it was notorious for how unfriendly it was to student visitors. But one user on Sheffield Forum had just brought this pub crashing to the forefront of my mind. According to this anonymous hero, the S&G once harboured a pool table. This table, he claimed, used to be 50p a game.

As someone who looked very much like a student, I was dubious about venturing inside. After all, the only thing I knew about the place was that I wouldn't be welcome.

But what else could we do? Did the Hobbits shy away from journeying to Mordor just because they'd heard it was full of orcs? Did Luke Skywalker turn his fighter around and fly away from the Death Star, just because he'd heard it might be filled with Stormtroopers? And what, I ask you, would have happened to the wizarding world if Harry Potter had thrown in the towel because he'd once overheard someone say that his nemesis was a homicidal lunatic?

Not wanting to be outdone by Hobbits, Jedi and teenagers, we steeled ourselves against the cold wintery afternoon chill and made our way from The Graduate to the other side of the city centre. Before too long, we found ourselves standing outside that small and uninviting building in the midst of a student kingdom. Like the brave men of the north we were, we strode boldly inside.

The first thing to say is that, on the inside, it looked exactly as we'd imagined: small, dark, and poorly decorated. A few locals were leant against the bar listening to an overloud and eclectic playlist, but otherwise the place was empty.

The second thing to say is that everything I had heard about the hostile atmosphere appeared to be rubbish. The bar staff were more than happy to have us inside and while the locals didn't leap up from their seats to embrace us, they didn't glare at us either.

Happy about not being threatened with fists and sharp implements, we glanced around the dimly lit interior.

Then, at the far side of the pub we saw it.

The pool table stood there, empty and inviting. The sight of it's not-entirely-pristine baize was like water to a man dying in the desert. Hearts racing, we moved towards it.

Each step lasted a lifetime, each breath consumed an age. We had traversed the endless hills of Sheffield for this moment. Trusting in nothing but the word of a stranger, we had come here, to this rarely visited spot at the end of our hope, and put what little faith we had left into this one, final push.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the table. We glanced at the coin slot in unison.

'50p a game'.

Just then, the track on the playlist changed and the hallelujah chorus came on.

(It didn't).

We fell to our knees, holding one another tight, and we wept.

(We didn't).

We slapped each other on the back, ordered two pints and paid our 50p.

(We did).

The choice of drinks was predictably lamentable and we each bought a pint of Guinness.

At the time of writing this blog we have now been to the S&G several times and have built up a considerable pool score there. The pub has, with tragic inevitability, witnessed us return as regulars.

Of course, it hardly deserves a stellar rating. It’s not a great venue. It’s not even nice. But for us, it was a place made of pleasant surprises: nobody wanted to stab us, and the pool table was 50p a game (not to mention completely empty).

So, proving that we are not professional reviewers and are, in fact, easily swayed by even the slightest measure of happiness – the Star & Garter gets an unquestionably undeserved eight stars.

S&G Pool Score: Andy 21-15 Rob 

Pubquest Pool Score: Andy 29-18 Rob

Pub: The Star & Garter (82-84 Winter Street, S3 7ND)
Rating: 8/10
Pint: Guinness
Brewery: Guinness Brewery (Dublin)

NEXT UP: Stuck in traffic, at The Closed Shop...