Pub 118, Day 45 – Drakehouse Mill

By Rob 

Our tour of Beighton continued as we left the Gypsy Queen. The quiz aside, I was pretty glad to be getting out of there. After all, it was a Hungry Horse pub and there’s little interesting to be said about such.

Out came the phones and up flashed the maps as we searched for the next boozer. The unexpected quiz had severely delayed us, meaning we only had time for one more pub before they’d all be shutting up for the night.

The obvious choice was staring us in the face: Drakehouse Mill.

Slap bang in the middle of a retail park, I wasn’t holding out much hope. Upon arrival, any hope I had been holding was dropped onto the floor, trodden on, and kicked to death.

It was another Hungry Horse pub. And this time, we didn’t even need to eat.

Once inside (no need to describe the interior – Hungry Horse etc etc) it was immediately clear that we were the only people in the pub. Hardly a surprise considering it was a family eatery and the hour was late, but rubbish nevertheless.

One disappointment followed another, as we beheld the truly awful range of beers on offer. We were on our 118^th pub and still hadn’t repeated a single beer – we were not about to be defeated by a Hungry fucking Horse. In the end, we had to settle for Budweiser, removing one of the more common beers we’d somehow managed to avoid.

Sat there, sipping our Bud (a drink which, like the pub, merits no description) we were decidedly unimpressed with the whole experience.

What I will say, however, is that the children’s play area looked pretty cool. I’m sure parents of young children, and young children themselves, have a better appreciation for what the pub has to offer. But Andy and I? Not so much.

Pub: Drakehouse Mill (3 Drake House Way, S20 7JJ)

Rating: 4/10

Pint: Budweiser

Brewery: Anheuser-Busch (based in St Louis, USA)

 

NEXT UP: An abandoned pub, at the Hillsborough Tap...

Pub 117, Day 45 – Gypsy Queen

By Rob

After leaving The Milestone, we made the short walk to the Gypsy Queen. I’ll spare you a description of the visuals, on account of it being a Hungry Horse pub. You all know what they look like, inside and out, and what’s on the menu.

We ordered some food (nothing worth mentioning – it’s a Hungry Horse pub) and sat down in the main room (nothing worth mentioning – it’s a Hungry Horse pub). The clientele was exactly as you’d expect (nothing worth mentioning – it’s a Hungry Horse pub). We each ordered two pints of Thirst Blood (which actually is worth mentioning, on account of its 6% ABV, dark malty body, and spicy afternotes).

Just when we thought the visit was destined to be entirely uneventful, some bloke appeared with a microphone & speaker system, and a stack of quiz sheets – the Gypsy Queen’s quiz began.

Naturally, we couldn’t decline.

The questions were easier than we were used to, having failed miserably at umpteen quizzes along our journey thus far. Once they’d all been read out, the quizmaster toured the tables, asking if people needed any questions repeating. When he arrived at us, we dropped into conversation that we were touring the city’s pubs in an effort to visit them all. He seemed enthused by this, but also a little nervous. Clearly, he assumed we were pub quiz connoisseurs, and asked how his quiz compared to those at other establishments. He then began to apologise profusely for how poor the evening’s offering had been. It was, he assured us, normally much better than this. The questions, he assured us, were normally much harder than this.

He needn’t have worried. We didn’t win. We didn’t come close.

Overall, what to say about the Gypsy Queen?

Nothing worth mentioning – it’s a Hungry Horse pub.

Pub: Gypsy Queen (Drakehouse Lane, S20 1FW)

Rating: 7/10

Pint: Thirst Blood

Brewery: Keswick Brewing Co. (Keswick, Cumbria)

 

NEXT UP: Another Hungry fucking Horse, at Drakehouse Mill...

Pub 116, Day 45 – The Milestone

By Andy

In a bid to visit more pubs which weren't slap-bang in the city centre, we took the tram out to Crystal Peaks, near the Halfway terminus.

As a member of the generation which grew up with a cinema at Crystal Peaks, this was a flashback to my early teenage years: a (child) tram ticket, a (child) cinema ticket and an (adult!) McDonald's meal, all with change from a tenner – do Saturday afternoons get any better than that?

Unfortunately, there comes a stage in life when the girls you are courting demand more than a McChicken sandwich and a ticket to see The Tuxedo (starring Jackie Chan). Presumably, this was the point where I began spending my weekends in Centertainment – where there's a Burger King as well.

As an adult, and with the cinema long gone, I had not set foot in Crystal Peaks for over a decade. But as a Pubquester, it was time to return: The Milestone pub was located in Crystal Peaks car park.

A typical out-of-town pub with no locals to speak of, The Milestone was soulless but inoffensive. To counteract this, many similar pubs concentrate on food, although the fact that The Milestone was offering carveries on a Thursday aroused suspicions that they may still be using Sunday's meat.

Drinkwise, we opted for xXXx Porter by Ringwood Brewery, a warming winter beer for a cold winter night.

As is tradition, we commandeered the pool table for the length of our visit, sharing two frames.

If it seems like I'm rushing the description of the pub, you'd be right – for the real excitement took place shortly after leaving.

 

En route to pub number two, we spotted a sign: Jack P Shepherd from Coronation Street (David Platt to you and I) was in Crystal Peaks that very evening, switching on their Christmas lights.

Now reader, you don't get many chances to meet Jack P Shepherd in your lifetime, and we weren't about to pass one up. Rushing into the shopping centre, we accosted the first member of staff we saw:

"Is Jack P Shepherd still here??!"

"I'm sorry lads, you've missed him."

You can imagine our disappointment. Moments away from meeting the actor who plays the second-most famous member of the Street's third-most famous family (behind Gail; the Barlows and the Battersbys), we had arrived after he had already departed.

But then. BUT THEN! A group suddenly congregated by one of the exits. Of course, when you're as famous as Jack P Shepherd, you can't just turn on the lights and leave. The crowds will find you, and they will make you pose for selfies.

A queue formed, and all of a sudden we were looking at a lengthy wait, all for a quick photo and a scruffy autograph. Our dreams of recording a video with Jack for use as celebrity endorsement were in tatters.

Of course, as local celebrities ourselves we were concerned: no one had spotted us yet, but as soon as our cover was blown we would be mobbed, splitting the queue between those who would rather meet Jack and those who would rather meet two world-famous bloggers.

We couldn't do that to the lad, not during his five minutes of fame.

Reluctantly we left, missing the opportunity for celebrity endorsement.

Just think how thankful those Coronation Street bosses would be if we had endorsed them...

The Milestone pool score: Andy 1-1 Rob

Pubquest pool score: Andy 47-33 Rob

Pub: The Milestone

Rating: 4/10

Pint: xXXx Porter

Brewery: Ringwood Brewery

 

NEXT UP: Quiz connoisseurs, at the Gypsy Queen...