By
Rob
Perhaps
you're under the illusion that time travel is impossible. Perhaps you
think that such things only happen in science-fiction. Or perhaps you
believe that, even if such things were possible, they would require
knowledge and technology that are far beyond our current levels of
understanding.
Not
so.
Step
through the doors of a working men's club and I guarantee you that,
in almost all cases, you'll travel through time. Some will take you
back to the 90s, while others will deposit you in the 80s. In a few
instances, you'll be dropped as far back as the 70s.
As
you enter, you'll probably notice the patterned wallpaper and
linoleum floor. You'll quickly discover that the only beer on offer
is smooth-flow bitter; as you try to speak to the bar staff over the
noise coming from the guy on stage, whose awful rendition of The
Drifters assures you that you are, in fact, more than a number in his
little red book.
The
shivering, huddled masses outside tell you that virtually everybody
smokes, including the elderly management committee, who spend most of
the evening selling tickets for the astonishingly varied array of
games. Naturally, you'll have no idea what each ticket is for:
there's bingo (both regular and five number), tombola, a meat raffle,
a normal raffle, and more besides. Meanwhile, a sign in the doorway
proudly proclaims that 'women can now be members'.
Not
yet compelled to go? Well, if you need another reason to visit, then
consider that these clubs are fast disappearing. Unlike Sheffield's
pubs, which in recent years have reversed the downward trend, the
traditional working-class clubs continue to vanish. They close down
and, when they're not left to collapse, end up as supermarkets and
(in at least one case) residential homes.
This
isn't all conjecture, either. I worked in one such place for five
years while at university and I've visited many others. Believe me
when I tell you that few places are able to offer the same mixture of
interesting local characters, old-fashioned music, casual racism, and
incredibly cheap beer. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the
only thing better than a Sheffield working men's club, is a Sheffield
pub.
So,
imagine our delight when we discovered that one such club – the
Midhill Working Men's Club – had managed to find new life as a pub.
After closing down due to financial difficulties and a lengthy spell
of bad management (sadly not an uncommon problem in such places), the
Midhill reopened as the Earl Marshal, a pub that's since stood on
East Bank Road for more than thirty years.[1]
***
From
the outside, the pub looked enormous. The building seemed to stretch
out in all directions, set in the middle of large grounds. Had it not
been in the middle of a council housing estate, it might've looked
something like a luxury residence.
Once
inside, it was clear to see that this had not always been a pub; it
was far too big. About three or four customers stood around the bar,
but the rest of the place was empty. The various rooms, set back in
the several branches of the building, were not even lit. It was a
strange scene: a small, semi-populated bar in the midst of empty,
inky blackness.
As
is often the case in such pubs, our entrance elicited a few stares.
Once at the bar, we were faced with the predictably poor choice of
beers. The usual suspects were all lined up: John Smiths, Stones, and
Carling. Everything we saw, we'd already drank. Fortunately, we'd recently come to discover that a bottle of Bulmers cider held a full pint
of booze. With two of those in hand, we headed to sit down.
But
where to sit?
Picking
one of the various rooms at random, we asked the woman behind the bar
if she wouldn't mind switching on the lights. Apparently, this was
perceived as a wholly unreasonable demand, which she absolutely
refused to meet. We briefly considered sitting in darkness,
presumably to teach her some sort of obscure lesson, but ultimately
decided against it.
In
the end, we perched ourselves down at a small table a few feet from
the bar, where I took a swig from my drink and almost immediately
developed type-2 diabetes. The concentrated syrup – apparently
'Wild Blueberry & Lime' – tasted like liquefied sherbet. Holding
the bottle up to what little light we had, I wondered whether it was
the wild blueberries or the limes that had given this cider its
agonisingly bright, electric blue colour.
As
for the pub itself, it was very hard to judge. Apparently, when the
Earl Marshal first opened for business, the various rooms were
interestingly themed. The pub boasted of a colonial room, Victorian
room, and a garden party room.[2] I was fairly confident this was no
longer the case but, given that we'd finally found somewhere darker than The Abbey, it was impossible to know for sure.
While
I heartily recommend visiting a working men's club, I can't say the
same for the Earl Marshal.
Pub:
Earl Marshal (291 East Bank Road, S2 3PZ)
Rating:
3.5/10
NEXT UP: Caught in a thunderstorm, at the Waggon & Horses...
[1] Peter Tuffrey, Sheffield Pubs; Landlords and Landladies, Fonthill Media, (2012), pp.45-46
[2] Peter
Tuffrey, Sheffield Pubs; Landlords and
Landladies, Fonthill Media, (2012), pp.45-46
[1] Peter Tuffrey, Sheffield Pubs; Landlords and Landladies, Fonthill Media, (2012), pp.45-46
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