Pub 30, Day 10 – The Beehive

By Andy

The bell rang.

Unlike at school, where this was always a joyous occasion; when you're sat in a pub, it is a moment of despair. It can only ever be followed by two words:

“Last orders!”

We had run out of time. Our planned pub crawl around Hillsborough had come crashing to an inescapable halt. In order to continue, we once again had to head to town.

Luckily, The Queen's Ground is on the tram route. With West Street being the obvious stop to disembark at, we ended the night at The Beehive.

Pleasingly for West Street, The Beehive is still undeniably a pub – with carpeted floors and wooden chairs, you could be forgiven for thinking you were in the suburbs. Not to worry though, as a quick glance out the window will soon bring you back to reality, where the local entertainment includes drunken kebab juggling and high-heeled gymnastic routines.

All too many “pubs” in town have abandoned their roots and morphed into pub-bar bastards, unthinkable hybrids of J.D. Wetherspoon and Peter Stringfellow. This is undoubtedly an attempt to tick all the boxes, but all too often ends up pleasing no-one: an impressive array of guest ales and 4 Jagerbombs for £5 do not belong under the same roof.

The Beehive hasn't fallen for such populist nonsense, and it is all the better for it. Strangely, this seems to manifest itself in improved decorum – whereas at many city-centre drinkeries, punters crowd around the bar until the person at the front can no longer breathe, The Beehive retains a more orderly system, pleasing everyone who values an intact ribcage.

Don't be mistaken into thinking it's less lively than its neighbours though. When we arrived at almost midnight on a Thursday it was still buzzing with students, and on a Friday night it maintains its colony until closing time.

Getting into the spirit of things, we selected two pints of Freshers Ale, a fruity beer whose logo awakens nostalgia for anyone who spent their pocket money at the sweet shop.

Thankfully, Freshers (the ale) wasn't quite as sour as Refreshers (the sweets), although it did possess a tangy kick in honour of its inspiration.

Glancing around, we noticed something always sure to arouse our interest: the pool table stood idle. Although we had both proved our worth against formidable opponents so far on Pubquest, we were yet to play each other. That was about to change. Being of a similar ability, we agreed that the only way to determine who was better was to compete at every Pubquest pool table we encountered. With scores to settle and change to waste, the pool marathon began.

As most of the clientele at this time seemed more interested in drinking games than cue sports, we managed to hold on to the table for quite some time. This was bad news for Rob, who was woefully out of form. I took the first five frames, before he reduced the deficit to 5-1. However, just as he was announcing his comeback, he was rudely interrupted.

The bell rang.

“Last orders!”

The Beehive pool score: Andy 5-1 Rob

Pubquest pool score: Andy 5-1 Rob

Pub: The Beehive (240 West Street, S1 4EU)

Rating: 8/10

Pint: Freshers 

Brewery: Naylor's Brewery (Cross Hills, North Yorkshire)

NEXT UP: The quest for the 50p pool table, at The Cavendish...

Pub 29, Day 10 – The Queen's Ground

By Rob

As the doors of The Shakey closed on the sounds of merriment and celebration, so too did they close on one of the lowest periods of Pubquest so far. We hadn’t expected to win the quiz, but even in our darkest moments – during the popular culture questions, for example – we had never envisioned being subjected to public ridicule.

Nevertheless, with the exception of several debilitating diseases and a host of other potential misfortunes, we reminded ourselves that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

With a newfound resolve, strengthened by two pints of beer and half a packet of protein-rich peanuts, we headed to the next pub. Leaving Hillsborough Corner behind, we walked down Langsett Road in the direction of the city centre.

Before long we arrived at The Queen’s Ground Hotel. From the outside it looked like a very nice establishment indeed, set inside a sizeable stone building with large bay windows looking out onto the street.

Inside, the pub was very typical of the older gentleman’s drinkery, with a heavily patterned red carpet and walls the colour of Dijon mustard. However, I should say that it was by no means unpleasant. There was an eye-catching stained-glass feature above and behind the bar, which looked as if it had been there for a good many decades, advertising ‘Ward's Fine Malt Ales’. There was also a billiards room at the back of the building, which will always be a welcome addition as far as we’re concerned.

Unfortunately, despite the statement to the contrary, there were no fine malt ales on sale. In fact, there was not an ale in sight. As such, we elected to imbibe a pint of John Smith’s Magnet.

While it’s understandable that a few of you non-existent readers might have some doubts about whether, say, John Smith's Extra Smooth and John Smith's Extra Cold are different beers, there can be no such doubts surrounding the categorisation of Magnet.

Although Magnet can be bought right across the UK, it is now heavily restricted to the North East of England and Yorkshire. It is easily the least well known of the John Smith's products and, for whatever reason, unlike the other variations it gets absolutely no promotion from the business. In fact, if you look on the John Smith's website, you will see that they only list two products: Original and Extra Smooth.

With its continually decreasing territorial range, Andy and I have long been of the opinion that Magnet is a critically endangered species and will, in the foreseeable future, cease to be.

Why do we care? Well, mainly because it’s a nice pint. The strongest of all the John Smith's beers, Magnet also has a much richer, fruitier taste. Without a doubt, it deserves far more recognition than it gets.

Sat there, nursing the beer equivalent of the Sumatran Tiger, I found that my desire to like the pub was greater than my ability to do so. The interior was nice enough, it had a snooker table, and it served Magnet; it was ticking the right boxes.

Unfortunately, the place was virtually empty. Worse still, the few people that were stood around the bar managed, deliberately or otherwise, to exude an air of unfriendliness that was only encouraged by the barman – you would think he would be pleased to welcome two more customers to his sparsely populated pub.

So, despite drinking Magnet in an old pub with a snooker table, The Queen's Ground gets an uninspiring 4/10.

Pub: The Queen's Ground (401 Langsett Road, S6 2LJ)

Rating: 4/10 

Pint: John Smith's Magnet

Brewery: John Smith's Brewery (Tadcaster, North Yorkshire)

NEXT UP: The pool marathon begins, at The Beehive...

Pub 28, Day 10 – The Shakey

By Andy

Not knowing Hillsborough too well, we opted to wander round aimlessly until we found another pub. Luckily, this took all of ten seconds: The Shakey is located diagonally across the crossroads.

Having just left one Spoons, we could have easily mistaken our new location for another: The Shakey is a large, spacious pub with a range of regulars who span from unwelcoming alcoholics to over-friendly party-goers.

An eclectic mix of furniture contributes to the pub's modern decor – canvas prints and patterned wallpaper complete the contemporary vibe. However, I couldn't help but feel The Shakey is a pub failing to reach its potential: despite its attractive interior, the pub failed to offer any ales to complement its indie feel.

(I have been informed by a friend who frequents this pub that we may have simply caught them on an off-day, as ales are part of their line-up, but certainly there were none available for our visit – we did two laps of the bar to make sure).

With only the usual suspects to choose from, we selected two pints of Ruddles Smooth.

I know what you're thinking: “But guys, you already drank Ruddles Smooth at The Penny Black! This will ruin your attempt to have a different pint in each pub!”

If you truly were thinking that then I applaud you – you have better Pubquest memory than me and Rob. Needless to say, upon realising our error a few days later we were truly mortified, and will be making a return visit to The Penny Black to correct this anomaly.

As we supped our Ruddles – a pint I've always been quite partial to – the barmaid glanced in my direction. It was only fleeting, but our gazes definitely met. Without a word, she sauntered over and placed a piece of paper and pen on our table. My eyes lit up. It was pub quiz night.

Rob (correctly) pointed out that we had planned to visit a few pubs that evening, and stopping for the quiz would significantly slow our progress. I countered by saying that we had embarked on a journey to assess every pub in Sheffield, and to leave halfway through a pub quiz would be bordering on heresy. He agreed, and we began the daunting task of coming up with a team name.

When planning pub quizzes in advance, we always make sure to bring our girlfriends along. The four of us make for quite a formidable team – our girlfriends know all about celebrities and current affairs, while us men answer questions on the important things in life – which football team plays at which ground etc.

Without our girlfriends, this was going to be a true test of our intelligence.

On this occasion, we lacked the feminine touch when asked celebrity-obsessed questions about irrelevant Z-listers such as Angela Merkel and Vladimir Putin, whereas we exchanged a knowing glance when quizzed on pressing global issues such as the Snooker World Championship. Unfortunately, there are only so many questions about Ronnie O'Sullivan that can feature in one quiz.

Alas, The Shakey is one of those pubs that likes to name and shame its gallant losers.

And so it was that, to the soundtrack of cheers laced with schadenfreude, the barmaid read out our score. Worse still, she ensured the entire pub knew exactly who we were by bringing us a wooden spoon prize – a packet of Nobby's Nuts.

Someone once told me that food tastes better when you don't have to pay for it. That person has clearly never munched their way through a packet of Nobby's Nuts while the regulars at The Shakey howled with derision. Each and every mouthful tasted of despair and defeat.

***

A few days after our visit, and with the resulting social anxiety still keeping me firmly indoors, I remarked to my dad what a strange name “The Shakey” was for a pub. Seeing that I had piqued his interest, I mused a couple of my logical deductions:

Perhaps it was named in honour of some historic Hillsborough earthquake, long-forgotten in the mists of time. Or maybe it was in this very pub where Ian Fleming decided he didn't like his Martinis stirred.

My dad glared at me as if I had brought shame on the entire family and growled: “It used to be called The Shakespeare you bloody half-wit.”

Pubquest: striving to solve even the most complex etymology.

Pub: The Shakey (196 Bradfield Road, S6 2BY)

Rating: 5/10

Pint: Ruddles Smooth

Brewery: Greene King Brewery (Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk)

NEXT UP: A gallon of Magnet, at The Queen's Ground...

Pub 27, Day 10 – The Rawson Spring

By Rob

Now, as the more diligent readers will have noticed (I am, of course, working under the delusion that people are reading this) we had so far been fairly unadventurous in our visits. Most of the pubs we had been to were either near the city centre or situated within reasonable walking distance of our individual abodes.

So, given our rather gingerly progress thus far, we decided to go a bit further afield in search of our next public house.

We hopped on a tram and didn't get off until we reached Hillsborough, a suburb borrowing its name from the nearby Hillsborough House, an eighteenth-century dwelling built for a local landowner who named it in honour of his patron, Wills Hill. Not only was Hill a prominent politician, but he also happened to be the Earl of Hillsborough, a townland in Northern Ireland.

The first pub we visited was the Rawson Spring. Originally an old swimming baths built in the early 1920s, it now represented the second Wetherspoons of our pint-filled pilgrimage.

The Rawson Spring is typical of a Sheffield Wetherspoons, occupying an impressive building of not inconsiderable age and playing host to the usual mixed crowd of customers, with the standard Wetherspoons decor. That being said, the shape of the former baths makes for a large, open-plan, and striking interior.

Like every other 'Spoons, we had no trouble whatsoever in selecting a drink we hadn't seen before. We each had a pint of Young Henrys, a nice – but quite bitter – ale from Australia.

The exciting topic that consumed our attention was the possible return to Sheffield of Andrew Wilson. Naturally, the fact that Andy lived in Howden was slowing down our Pubquest progress. As such, he had decided that he needed to uproot himself from village life and return to the fold. There was also the small matter of a job in Sheffield, for which he had attended an interview that very afternoon.

Suffice it to say, we were both crossing our fingers and hoping for his success.

Pub: The Rawson Spring 
Rating: 7/10
Pint: Young Henrys Real Ale  
Brewery: Young Henrys (based in Newtown, Australia)

NEXT UP: An embarrassing pub quiz performance, at The Shakey...