Pub 18, Day 5 – Sheffield Water Works Company

By Rob

So this is the first Wetherspoons to be visited during Pubquest. Inevitably, there will be a good number of these popping up later in the list because, as everyone knows, they are everywhere. My feelings towards Wetherspoons are mixed:

On the Downside –

An invasive species, like Japanese knotweed or the grey squirrel, Wetherspoons has killed off a great number of already struggling pubs. In a Darwinian show of fitness, Wetherspoons has proven itself more than able to outperform the smaller chains and individual pubs scattered across the UK. Sheffield is no exception to this.

Naturally, this has erased a good deal of character and individuality from the drinking landscape of many towns and cities, although perhaps not quite as starkly as you might think. Like some sort of body-snatching alien life form, Wetherspoons doesn't flatten pubs and erect one of their own buildings in its place. Instead, each pub adopts an individual name, often related to the premises or the local area, and the exterior stays similar to before. Unsuspecting passersby are lured in, only to discover once inside that they are within the standard ‘Spoons’ environment: A strange mixture of students, old men, and real ale lovers who come in to sample the guest beers.

On the Plus Side –

The beer is cheap. I mean, it’s really cheap. Also, there are always real ales available. We each had a pint of Acorn Darkness.

The Sheffield Waterworks building

Despite Wetherspoons being a chain of pubs, I think each one should be rated individually. The pubs are not entirely uniform and despite the identical drink menus on offer, there is more to a pub than just what it has in stock or how much it charges.

While the interior was typically uniform, it was a spacious and pleasant place. Like many of the Wetherspoons in Sheffield, this one lived inside a large and impressive building. In this instance, it was the former site of the Sheffield Water Works Company.

The Waterworks gets 6.5/10.

Pub: Sheffield Water Works Company (2 Division Street, S1 4GF)

Rating: 6.5/10

Pint: Acorn Darkness     

Brewery: Acorn Brewery (Barnsley)

NEXT UP: A new blogger on the scene, at The Punch Bowl...

Pub 17, Day 5 – The Penny Black

By Rob

On the walk between pubs we recalled all those times that Danny had come close to pulling but, thanks to the inexplicable hostility of fate towards this particular gentleman, had repeatedly missed out at the last minute. We entertained the distinct possibility that he might, in fact, die alone. With this cheery thought fresh in our minds, we found ourselves at the Penny Black.

Across the road from the bus station, this is hardly the greatest looking pub. However, there is a frequently voiced piece of advice that warns us: don’t judge a book by its cover. The Penny Black, while appearing grotty and run-down from the outside, could very well be a different pub on the inside.

Except it wasn’t.

But! There was real ale available and for this we were grateful.

One pint of Ruddles Smooth each for me and Andy.

Sitting there, drinking our pints, we were presented with an invaluable opportunity to critically assess Danny’s technique at engaging with women. What we discovered was that an essential ingredient in a successful strategy is maintaining realistic outcome expectations while also making every effort not to come across creepy and/or weird. A case in point: I remember one night in town where Danny, in a show of alcohol-enhanced confidence, gave his number to a group of girls who then disappeared into the crowded dancefloor.

At the end of that particular night me, him and our friend Zak (mentioned previously) all went back to our flat. The kettle was switched on, tea was poured, and pyjamas were worn. We were sat around getting ready to head to bed when Danny’s mobile rang. It was the girls who, for some reason, had been kicked out of the hotel they were staying in and thus they wanted somewhere to go. Danny, hit with a sudden brainwave, elected to tell the girls that we were currently hosting a party at our flat and told them that they should attend. Of course, the major issue was that we were definitely not having a party. Zak and I were forced to pull some jeans on over the pyjamas, pour away the tea, and put on some music, all while Danny filled up some empty vodka bottles with water to make it look as if we had alcohol in.

Unfortunately, the girls arrived. They entered the flat expecting to see a party, and instead saw three people sat down while some music played quietly in the background. Naturally worried that she had been lured to our flat under false pretences, one girl feared for her safety so much that she locked herself away in our bathroom and phoned one of her male friends for help. This shining beacon of society arrived soon after and safely escorted the girls away. We put our pyjamas back on, gave Danny a pat on the back out of sympathy, and finally went to bed.

The moral of the story is probably something like “Don’t be weird and lie about parties”.

Anyway!

The Penny Black gets 4.5/10. It was by no means horrible, the staff were nice and friendly, and the ale was a surprising find.

Pub: The Penny Black (40 Pond Hill, S1 2BG)

Rating: 4.5/10

Beer: Ruddles Smooth    

Brewery: Greene King Brewery (Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk)

NEXT UP: Our first Wetherspoons, at Sheffield Water Works Company...

Pub 16, Day 5 – Sheffield Tap

By Rob

Me and Andy are not above charitable acts and, as such, we offered an invitation to our mate Danny. A fellow who hasn’t really had success with a member of the opposite sex since 2009, it’s understandable why we felt the need to extend the hand of friendship and bring him out with us on a little bit of Pubquest.

The Sheffield Tap is a fantastic pub, built into the train station and offering a great view of the railways. It’s got an old fashioned, Victorian-esque feel to it and has an excellent range of real ales, which is handy for all those real ale enthusiasts and those few sad people who are trying to drink a different pint in every pub in Sheffield.

Permanently in a state of predatory bachelorism, Danny took the opportunity to subtly stare at every female in the place. You might think that being stared at from across a room would be interpreted as a compliment, but it definitely is not. Additionally, while Danny is a lovely guy, he suffers from a small problem, which is that he lusts after girls several orders of magnitude more attractive than himself.

Sheffield Tap gets 9/10 for its good beers and unique charm – we each finished a pint of Bakewell Best Bitter, except for Danny who had a Carling.

Pub: Sheffield Tap (Platform 1B, Sheffield Station, Sheaf Street, S1 2BP)

Rating: 9/10

Pint: Bakewell Best Bitter    

Brewery: Peak Ales (Bakewell)

NEXT UP: From the train station to the bus station, at The Penny Black...